What Food Do You Associate With Lawyers?

We give professions a favorite food based on the way we perceive them. When you think of a cop with a donut, you think of a beer-bellied traffic cop sitting in his cruiser harassing people for basic traffic infractions. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but it’s also the fruit of knowledge–that’s why we give it to teachers. Whereas the donut is a sign of society’s lack of respect for one institution, the apple is its sign of respect for another. If that’s the way it works, then what food would society give lawyers?

Well, it depends on how we perceive lawyers. What characteristics do they have? Let’s get started with this most important list.

The Good:

  • Communication Skills. Lawyers know how to communicate their ideas with other people. They know how to sell a story. If they couldn’t do that, how could they ever win a case?
  • Analytical Skills. In order to win a case, you need the ability to pay attention to detail.
  • Memory. The law is big and complex and overwhelming, and to know it all you need a big memory.
  • Hard Working. This one’s self-explanatory. Lawyers put the rest of their lives on hold to make room for work.

The Bad:

  • Dishonesty. Most people think lawyers rarely tell the truth. The law is about two sides of a story that never really gets told. It’s about winning, not the truth. Or so we believe.
  • Theft. A lot of people think lawyers exist only to siphon money from the poor. We think they’re rich and snobbish, and even though that’s nonsense–it’s what people think.

Society needs lawyers to protect us, but that doesn’t change the way we perceive them–as pests. That said, we all love to have them in our own families. They’re useful in a pinch. But what food would we give to lawyers based on common perception?

So what food do you associate with lawyers?

This might be a Law & Order stereotype, but when on many procedural crime dramas, lawyers are usually up pulling all-nighters prepping for a big case. And although that doesn’t necessarily happen in the real world, that’s the food that comes to mind, in my opinion.

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